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The Tour

March 18, 2010
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Okay, I’m old.  Not really insanely old, but sufficiently old that I shouldn’t be out galavanting to R&B shows on a Wednesday night when I have work to do, particularly after having been somewhat, shall we say, “prepared” by St. Patrick’s Day festivities earlier in the day (festivities that my anonymous cohort would no doubt consider to be playing into the hands of the racists).  I’m old enough that my girlfriend and I were e-mailing today about Cool It Now.  That should tell you pretty much all you need to know.

But I went to see Alicia Keys at MSG last night anyway, even though I am old and had a hangover by 8:00 p.m.  What can I say?  I have a weakness for live music, I love going to concerts, and I’m game to go to see pretty much anyone this side of Lynyrd Skynyrd.  If you don’t know which side of Lynyrd Skynyrd, just stick around for a while and get to know me (and see the Cool It Now link above).

I’m not a big fan of arena shows, but this one was a lot of fun.  We skipped the openers (Robin Thicke — son of Alan Thicke, I swear! — and Melanie Fiona, whoever that is).  The drawbacks first.  Beyond my own fragile state, we had a couple of assholes sitting behind us, one of whom was a dime-store version of Mark Spitz doing early 70’s porn.  Get the image?  Sorry.  His wife/girlfriend, was a disaster, annoying, screeching, banging the back of the chairs, whining about people standing.  I can’t really put my finger on who she reminded me of, maybe (current) Sissy Spacek on speed?  Anyway, we hated both of them.  Get off of my lawn, you damn kids!!  (I just realized I subconsciously stole that from my anonymous friend Mac’s post about the NCAA tournament.  My bad.)

With that out of the way, let’s get down to business.  Alicia was awesome.  I love that she’s from Hell’s Kitchen, I love that she has turned being a spectacular pianist into being a huge pop star, and I love that she at all times wears the tightest, sparkliest things she can find despite her, shall we say, curvy, derriere.  I love it all.  I even love her over-the-top earnestness, about how we should all love and appreciate each other.  It’s a total load of crap, but I get the feeling that she really believes it.  (I won’t go into the fact that during some of the early the dance numbers it seemed like she might have been lip-syncing a few songs.)

Then Beyoncé and Jay-Z showed up.  That was some good shit.  Beyoncé, well, what can I say:

Nothing.  I can’t say anything.

Then Jay-Z came out to do the finale of Empire State of Mind.  Brought down the house.  Seriously.  Excellent show.

The tour continues.

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. March 18, 2010 10:55 pm

    Cool It Now, slow it down…you’re gonna lose control.

    Is there anything more depressing than seeing Bobby Brown on that MTV weight loss show?

  2. Fat Al permalink*
    March 19, 2010 11:48 am

    I have studiously ignored Bobby and Whitney since the 80’s, so my image of them is well-preserved from their salad days.

    My favorite line from Cool It Now: “Ronnie, Bobby, Ricky and Mike, If I like the girl who cares who you like.”

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