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Big Yellow Taxi

March 23, 2010
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Taxicabs.  They’re one of the great things about New York.  Walk outside in much of Manhattan any time of day or night, raise your arm, and you’ve got a pretty good shot of finding a guy willing (possibly) to take you where you want to go.  It’s a great thing and something I often miss when I’m traveling elsewhere.   (And I’ll give a quick shout-out to the late, lamented New York Hack, which was a great blog by a female NYC cabbie.  The archives are still worth reading, and it looks like she even wrote a book.)

But this isn’t a positive post about New York City taxicabs, it’s a negative one.  New York cabs are great in principle, and are usually acceptable in reality, but sometimes they just suck.  They suck even more now that the Checkers are all gone and we have these cramped little things where you’re wrapped in plexiglass and slam your knees on the stupid little TV that you have to desperately try and turn off before it starts yelling at you.

At the bottom of this post from the NY Post of some of the “stars” of the horrible cab drivers of NYC.  It’s a worthy read.  I particularly like “The Slugger,” “The Spitter” and “The Menace.”

To these egregious guys I’d add a couple of other more common categories of cabbies who I’d just as soon pass me by:

  • The Lurcher — The driver who between lights gets the car up to about 70 mph and then, when that completely unexpected and unforeseeable red light pops up, slams on the brakes and throws you face first into the plexiglass.
  • The Bluetooth Guy — Shut the fuck up.
  • The Talker — You talkin’ to me?  Seriously, leave me the hell alone.
  • The Smelly Guy — I understand that the job must completely suck and I’m sure it’s hard to find facilities, or a place to sit and eat your takeout without getting a ticket.  But come on, buy one of those Christmas trees or something.  The other day we were in a cab that smelled like cat piss.  I don’t even want to imagine how that happened.

Well, you’ve waited long enough, here are the most-wanted.  Note the incredibly harsh penalties these pricks received.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. March 23, 2010 10:32 pm

    When I was a young child one of our family cars was a checker, dark, dark green, almost black. All in all, I prefer the silver limo.

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