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Free Pee Wee

August 16, 2010

Surely one of the more profound and destructive cultural moments for our country over the last twenty years was the arrest of Pee Wee Herman for indecent exposure (he was boiling the flanken in a dirty movie theater).

Now he is finally speaking in detail about that episode, and the charges, which he claims were false. He’s innocent I tell ya. As proof of his innocence he offers this bit of information which would have been offered as evidence if he had gone to trial.

Had we gone to trial, we had ready an expert from the Masters and Johnson Institute who was going to testify that in 30 years of research on masturbation the institute had never found one person who masturbated with his or her nondominant hand. I’m right-handed, and the police report said I was jerking off with my left hand,” says Reubens. “That would have been the end of the case right there, proof it couldn’t have been me.”

In response, I say, how do we know he’s right handed? In any event, there was no trial, he accepted a plea and plead no contest.

There’s never been even one documented case? Astonishing!

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. Fat Al permalink*
    August 16, 2010 9:05 am

    I daresay that the rise of the Internet may have altered the equation a bit on the handedness issue. Yes, I said rise.

    Also, nice use of “boiling the flanken.” That was first coined by Twain, no?

  2. August 16, 2010 12:48 pm

    I have to admit I “cheat” occasionally with my left hand, so there’s one case. And I know, too much information, but what are you going to do? And I have never heard of “boiling the flanken” but it will become part of my daily chatter from here on in! To Pee Wee!

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