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Dumps Like A Truck

October 28, 2010

More business news for you.

You may recall that the other day Crain’s New York Business issued a breaking news alert about Charlie Sheen’s sex and drugs party that was crashed by some intrusive cops.  (By the way, it turns out that Charlie’s guest at the Plaza was a porn actress known as Capri Anderson — real name Christina Walsh.)

Well, apparently the Wall Street Journal felt left out and today the business newspaper of record has a front-page story that revolves around Aubrey Huff of the San Francisco Giants and a thong. Take that in for a moment. This is Aubrey Huff:

And the thong in question is not a pair of flip-flops, it’s something along the lines of these:

Hard-hitting business news you can use:

The 1987 Minnesota Twins had Homer Hankies as a lucky charm. In 2002, it was the Anaheim Angels’ Rally Monkey. Now, the San Francisco Giants are hoping a pair of skimpy thong underpants will help win the team its first World Series since 1954.

First baseman Aubrey Huff, the garment’s wearer, has credited the thong with lifting his team to a playoff berth and ultimately to the World Series, which began here Wednesday at AT&T Park.

The Giants won 11-7. Mr. Huff started out the game with a double and later drove in a run.

The thong in question is red and covered with glitter. “Over time, it’s actually gotten pretty comfortable,” Mr. Huff says. There’s a precedent. Yankees slugger Jason Giambi wore a gold thong under his uniform in 2008,

Mr. Huff started wearing the undergarment at the end of August, when the Giants’ record stood at 72-60 and the team was five games behind the first-place San Diego Padres. Mr. Huff figured the team was going to need 92 victories to win the division, which meant winning 20 of its final 30 games.

He looked at the thong, looked at his teammates and decided that desperate times called for desperate measures. Mr. Huff put the thing on, walked around the locker room and announced, “Boys, this is going to get us to 20-10.”

There you have it. I guess you can’t argue with success.

4 Comments leave one →
  1. jco permalink
    October 28, 2010 12:54 pm

    Oh my, I don’t even know where to start. How about this: Aubrey Huff wears the same underwear to play EVERY GAME? Does he hand-wash his glittery panties himself?

  2. October 28, 2010 1:09 pm

    “Mr. Huff put the thing on, walked around the locker room and announced, “Boys, this is going to get us to 20-10.”’

    It’s only a matter of time until Charlie Sheen buys this man to use for his personal gain.

  3. October 28, 2010 1:52 pm

    Laugh all you want. It seems to be working.

  4. Fat Al permalink*
    October 29, 2010 9:36 am

    That is one seriously magic thong.

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