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Hideosity (Hideousness?)

May 4, 2011
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Apparently Mayor Bloomberg (while I’ve always been against term limits, this joker is making me rethink that position) has selected a ridiculously boxy, ugly, midwestern piece of shit car as the next New York City taxi.

What a fucking joke. This City had the great Checker cabs with their jump seats and spacious back seats, then we had at least serviceable Mercury Marquis’s and their ilk (the real problem was the stupid sneezeguard plexi-glass that has appeared in recent decades — not much crime prevention going on there when they are never closed). Now all that shit is going to be gone and we get this ridiculous nonsense. Next thing Bloomberg is going to force us all to eat only at Applebee’s and Chili’s — but we won’t be allowed to have any salt or Coca-Cola. Fuck this guy. That’s why I voted for Jimmy McMillan, and if he starts the “Cab-Is-Too-Damn-Ugly” Party, I’ll be right there with him.

And lest you think I’m alone in my reaction, here’s Brooks of Sheffield:

I guess we shouldn’t have expected much. After all, New York City hasn’t has an attractive or comfortable taxi fleet since since the Checkers were phased out in the ’60s. But a minivan? A big, bulbous, boxy minvan? That’s what the winner of a taxi competition is, the Nissan NV200. Even Bloomberg conceded it looked like a family car. Its selection confirms what I’ve always thought about our Mayor—that’s he’s essentially a suburban, bourgeoise type with no taste, who doesn’t understand, or care for, the urban aesthetic at all. He wants Manhattan to look like New Rochelle or White Plains. A grid filled with minivans will help achieve that end, just as much as the administration’s awful bus shelters, newsstands and pedestrian malls.

And here’s the New Yorker’s Paul Goldberger:

I was getting ready to celebrate the notion that New York would at last have a standard taxi that might, just might, rival the ur-taxi of the world, the great London cab. And then I looked at the Nissan. It’s a warmed-over minivan. That’s pretty much what it looks like, however much Nissan is jiggering the interior and the mechanical systems. I’m sure that it will work better than the clunky things we ride around in now, and it will have nice things, like more leg room and plugs for charging your phone and a sunroof and a G.P.S. so that the driver can’t claim to be lost. But it’s a minivan, all the same. For this, we have waited all of these years? To have thirteen thousand minivans prowling the streets of New York, so that Fifth Avenue will look like the parking lot at a suburban soccer game?

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. jco permalink
    May 4, 2011 11:28 am

    I hate the minivans they use now, I actually choose a car if I can even if the minivan tries to pick me up first. What’s wrong with the little Toyota mini-SUV hybrids they’re using now? I like those just fine. Assuming that you need to get rid of the Crown Vic, and I don’t see why you do.

  2. May 4, 2011 1:18 pm

    1-The Crown Vics are going because Ford is going to stop making them.
    2-The hybrid Ford Explorers are terrible, quite large but with barely any space inside, no leg room, etc.
    3-We had term limits Al, they didn’t matter.

    4-My family had a dark green Checker when I was a kid

  3. May 4, 2011 2:28 pm

    Sssshhh…I’m having a Marilu Henner moment over here.

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