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Ain’t Love Grand

December 20, 2011

With the passing of Kim Jong Il we now have tie for the most detestable person on earth, and they just got married! The Times has a wonderful account of the their recent wedding in Dumbo.

The couple did not want their wedding to “to be just about us” so:

When guests arrived on Saturday night two weeks ago, they were greeted with name tags that asked them to declare a commitment.

and, just to make sure everybody understood that this was not some sort of absurd joke, cards were printed up instructing the poor suckers who had the misfortune to attend this wedding (which, from the report of a friend who attended, served no food and only some cheap wine) to:

“Name something you are really committed to.” The cards contained further imperatives: “Name one action you can take in the next 24 hours that is aligned with your commitment.”


Following the ceremony, which involved some made up Hebrew chanting– which I had to assure my intrepid reporter was not a traditional part of Jewish weddings, instead of toasts, dancing or anything festive, they had speakers. Graham Hill, the founder of the sanctimonious environmental websites treehugger and lifeedited (you can look them up yourself if you care), the latter seems dedicated to things like making your Hamptons summer cottage as green as possible, got up and hectored the crowd about some such. And it just goes on and on. The writer of the Times account comments:

Mr. Hill did not seem aware of how unnerving it can be to hear rich people talk about the pleasures of not spending money

I’m a pretty green sort of guy, but all this crap is enough to make me want to beat a baby seal with a car battery.

I wish them a long and happy marriage.

5 Comments leave one →
  1. Fat Al permalink*
    December 20, 2011 4:31 pm

    Wow, that is horrible. Really really horrible. I mean, who serves only dumplings and popcorn at a reception?

    • December 20, 2011 4:51 pm

      My source angrily insists there was no popcorn, the dumplings were tiny and made only a brief appearance.

  2. December 22, 2011 10:46 am

    I served dumplings and popcorn at my reception and everyone loved them. I think the difference was I served Jiffy Pop popcorn, it’s as much fun to make as it is to eat. That’s the tipping point.

    • Fat Al permalink*
      December 29, 2011 5:05 pm

      The only problem with Jiffy Pop was the sort of scrapy sound it made when you were shaking it. Kind of nails on the chalkboard. Other than that, there’s really nothing bad about Jiffy Pop.

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