Note to self
Skip the André and Yellowtail on New Year’s Eve. Fork in the Road does the dirty work:
Both come in cork-free, re-sealable containers (of course) and can be easily procured at most booze emporiums and some bodegas. They tend to be less expensive than Korbel, which can hit 17 bucks a bottle. In terms of price, they contend with Verdi’s Sparkletinis, which is a good thing, considering the “sparkling Italian fun that keeps the party going” tastes like a mix of antifreeze and Axe body spray.
And how do they taste?
Yellowtail’s offering features a peculiar metallic flavor: This bizarre air felt so intense, in fact, that I began wondering whether I was supposed to celebrate accidental self-poisoning with each sip rather than the new opportunities of 2012. Though dry at first, a syrupy tone suddenly emerges, overwhelming the palate with a heavy, sugary rush. A sour aftertaste then follows. Imagine from-concentrate white grape juice that lacks high-fructose corn syrup and white grapes, and you’ve got the right idea.
André, on the other hand, has a drier crispiness that makes it almost palatable. Sure, it’s sweet — and as with all such drinks, will leave you with a slamming headache and hungered fatigue the next day. Though far cheaper than Yellowtail, it could pass for something served earnestly in the first class section of a shady airline.
Fuck it. Just grab a bag of ice and some Riunite. That’s nice.