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Pig Blood

January 30, 2012

Apparently, someone thought it was a good idea to stage an Broadway musical version of — wait for it — Carrie. Yes, Carrie, the movie that still makes me cringe from the 70’s (it was the 70’s, wasn’t it? if it was the 80’s it was early) and that had creepy Sissy Spacek and pig blood and creepy occult shit and asshole high school jackasses. That was a horrible movie, if memorable.

Turn it into a musical? No fucking way. I get that some asshole producer types were sitting around stoned one day and had a good laugh about what it would be like to make a musical out of some ridiculous B horror movie like Carrie, but then they actually went out and did it.

But they did it in 1988. Okay, they were still high, I understand, and they thought it was funny. It ran for 3 days and burned around $7 million bucks.

But now someone has REVIVED it!

It will, then, come as a huge shock that articles entitled “Is ‘Carrie’ the Worst Musical of All Time?” are being written.

Frank Rich, in the Times, compared it to the Hindenburg disaster, citing its “uninhibited tastelessness,” “faceless bubble-gum music,” and stage blood that resembled “strawberry ice-cream topping.” For years to come, people would talk about the Act Two opener, a song and dance about the slaughtering of a pig.

Sure, I get it, the revival is “ironic.” Go fuck yourself.

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