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Bond Over

April 6, 2012

In the latest sign of it being the end of the world as we know it (I’ve been saying this for decades, so don’t go getting yourself in a tizzy):

James Bond will no longer be ordering martinis “shaken, not stirred.” The Bond franchise has sealed a marketing deal with Heineken, rumored at $45 million, to have the spy sip on the Dutch beer instead of the usual martini in the upcoming Bond film, Skyfall.

This makes me sad. I like beer, and I even like Heineken. In fact, I drink a hell of a lot more beer than I drink martinis. But I have always been a big Bond fan; not just the movies, but the books too. There is nothing like some good Ian Fleming to while away the time. How does the booze fit in? The Telegraph explains:

It is in chapter seven of Ian Fleming’s Casino Royale that the martini makes its first big appearance. Ordering at a bar in Royale-les-Eaux, 007 is pretty specific about what he wants: “A dry martini. One. In a deep champagne goblet. Three measures of Gordon’s, one of vodka, half a measure of Kina Lillet. Shake it very well until it’s ice-cold, then add a large thin slice of lemon-peel. Got it?”

“Gosh, that’s quite a drink,” says Bond’s CIA contact Felix Leiter. The world’s most famous spy is characteristically suave in his response. “I never have more than one drink before dinner. But I do like that drink to be large and very strong and very cold and very well made.”

I’m thinking that scene doesn’t work quite as well with a frosty foamer. Oh well, we’ll always have the Bond girls.

Honey Rider

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6 Comments leave one →
  1. April 6, 2012 10:48 am

    Not to go all No Logo, but is every fucking thing for sale?

  2. April 6, 2012 2:02 pm

    I’m boycotting Heineken and the new Bond film for this!

  3. JCo permalink
    April 6, 2012 2:20 pm

    That is just about the saddest thing I’ve ever heard. For the record, that drink is now called a Vesper martini, and it is incredibly delicious after a long work week. I may mix one up right now.

  4. April 6, 2012 3:19 pm

    The whole thing makes me want to vomit.

    How much do you think it would cost for Nestle for product placement of Ovaltine.

    Scene. The high stakes War table at the Wynn Casino. A scantily clad and beautiful cocktail waitress bends over (at the waist) to take the drink order for a tuxedo clad British spy.

    James Bond: Whole milk and three scoops of Ovaltine. Shaken, not stirred.
    Generic sexy lady standing just behind tuxedoed spy: Oh, James!

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