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Too Far

April 26, 2012

I like my booze, but I do not like vodka. When I drink, I like the booze to taste like something. I think the idea that the best vodka tastes like as little as possible tells you all you need to know about the merits of that beverage.

That said, I don’t see the point of flavored vodkas. If you want something that tastes like something, drink booze that tastes like something. If you don’t want your booze to taste like booze and you want your vodka to taste fruity, add some fruit juice. Want lemon vodka? Squeeze a lemon. Etcetera. You get my point.

So okay, there are flavored vodka, and I feel no need to opine on the type of people who drink such things (well, I do: they are pussies), but things are getting out of hand. The other day Serious Eats noted this:

That’s right, it’s “PB&J” flavored vodka. Leaving aside that the entire brand is named after a crazy one-eared dead painter, and that they insist on using an annoying abbreviation for peanut butter and jelly, it’s fucking PEANUT BUTTER & JELLY VODKA!!

Are these people insane?

Here’s the description on the website:

History
Introducing Van Gogh PB&J Vodka…our take on one of the most iconic American flavor combinations of all time: peanut butter & jelly.

Process
The fragrance of our PB&J vodka is predominantly of peanuts complemented by the fresh fruit aroma of raspberry. In the mouth, the roles are reversed with the raspberry taking center stage supported by the toasty flavor of peanut butter and a hint of vanilla on the side.

Notes From Tim Vos, Master Distiller
The fragrance of our PB&J Vodka is predominantly of peanuts, and is complemented by the fresh fruit aroma of the raspberry. On the tongue, the roles are reversed and the raspberry flavor is more of the focal point, giving it a velvety texture with a hint of vanilla on the side.

“Master Distiller” my ass. Reading it is making me nauseous. Luckily I’ll never have to actually drink it.

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7 Comments leave one →
  1. GENE permalink
    April 26, 2012 11:49 am

    I’ve always wondered how bars can stock all of these flavored vodkas ? … every brand seems to have morphed into 20 different flavored types. Insane ! …. I like a good old fashioned vodka-tonic-lime … and I don’t really care what kind of vodka it is.

    • April 26, 2012 9:51 pm

      Hey Gene. I couldn’t agree more. Who actually orders a Dragonfruit Vodka and soda?

  2. April 27, 2012 11:52 am

    I have to admit liking the flavor-infused vodkas at the Russian Vodka Room, but this is too much, I don’t like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and I’m certainly not drinking one! Nyet!

    • April 27, 2012 2:55 pm

      Anyone know how to block a commenter? Also, Marty, I went to your cash mob and the subsequent alcohol mob, nothing, no one was there.

      • April 27, 2012 3:07 pm

        What time did you show up? We were in the store for around an hour. The bar got changed at the last minute because the original one didn’t open up till late afternoon, so we went to the International. I thought I had sent out an email about that. If not, I apologize and we’ll have to hang out soon. As far as blocking a commenter, I was never very good at football.

        • April 27, 2012 4:34 pm

          I was a little late to the store and didn’t see the change of venue, oh well. In any event, we’ll pick a Sat/Sun to hang out soon.

      • April 27, 2012 4:40 pm

        Who the fuck do you want to block?

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