I like my booze, but I do not like vodka. When I drink, I like the booze to taste like something. I think the idea that the best vodka tastes like as little as possible tells you all you need to know about the merits of that beverage.
That said, I don’t see the point of flavored vodkas. If you want something that tastes like something, drink booze that tastes like something. If you don’t want your booze to taste like booze and you want your vodka to taste fruity, add some fruit juice. Want lemon vodka? Squeeze a lemon. Etcetera. You get my point.
So okay, there are flavored vodka, and I feel no need to opine on the type of people who drink such things (well, I do: they are pussies), but things are getting out of hand. The other day Serious Eats noted this:
That’s right, it’s “PB&J” flavored vodka. Leaving aside that the entire brand is named after a crazy one-eared dead painter, and that they insist on using an annoying abbreviation for peanut butter and jelly, it’s fucking PEANUT BUTTER & JELLY VODKA!!
Are these people insane?
Here’s the description on the website:
Introducing Van Gogh PB&J Vodka…our take on one of the most iconic American flavor combinations of all time: peanut butter & jelly.
The fragrance of our PB&J vodka is predominantly of peanuts complemented by the fresh fruit aroma of raspberry. In the mouth, the roles are reversed with the raspberry taking center stage supported by the toasty flavor of peanut butter and a hint of vanilla on the side.
Notes From Tim Vos, Master Distiller
The fragrance of our PB&J Vodka is predominantly of peanuts, and is complemented by the fresh fruit aroma of the raspberry. On the tongue, the roles are reversed and the raspberry flavor is more of the focal point, giving it a velvety texture with a hint of vanilla on the side.
“Master Distiller” my ass. Reading it is making me nauseous. Luckily I’ll never have to actually drink it.